This is mostly going to be me rambling about things that are on my mind...
To kill some time before football started on Sunday, we took the kids outside in the beautiful weather to play with us.
Violet insisted that she wear her "birdie" pajamas to church, and, being 2, her opinions are very strongly held. So she went to church in her dirty old PJ's. Not that she was planning on doing any socializing.....she refuses to enter the nursery.
Really, what's cuter than a little tiny person in a big helmet?
Our weather has at least temporarily taken a drastic turn into cooler temps, which makes this Oregonian jump for joy. Just in time for football and starting preschool! We are on day 2 of home preschool and I'm already pooped out. Lol. I'm not trying to do anything too serious with Clover since she is only 3, but I'm trying to lay out a framework of structure that we can build on in the future. Soon I will do a post on what our preschool morning time looks like.
My scattered brain needs a lot of practice in getting it together for the future years of homeschooling, so I'm using this school year to get adjusted to homeschool life, and to get the kids adjusted too. My hope is to learn to weave learning in with daily life, as well as having structured sit down lessons. And to be alert for opportunities to teach them how to do real life things, even if it's faster, easier, and less frustrating to do things on my own. The part that I really want to get accomplished is to teach both kids the art of stillness, patience, and concentration because I think it's really important....and also lacking in them. (ok, they maybe got that from me)
I keep searching for the constructive activity that captures one of their minds and allows them to be absorbed into concentration. Clover is capable, but not so much with Violet careening around destroying everything....Sometimes I feel quite lost in this parenting journey. Like I've somehow done it all wrong from the beginning and now have to find a new way, and change course painfully. But you really can't tell how much is learned and how much is just your child's personality. Both of my kids have a tendency to be very very active, obsessive, and willful.
I want their childhoods to be filled with adventure, wonder, fairy tales, and whimsy. But often I feel like we are all trapped with each other in our house, just trying to get through the next few minutes without a blowup. It's easy to think that if "this one thing" were different, then everything would be better. There is always just one more thing... Right now my one thing is imagining that if we had a back yard with a fence that I could release the kids into, they would be able to release a lot of their childhood energy. I can't just let them go around here. There are too many dangers, and Violet is insistent on not listening and just running away. She's a wild spirit, that one.
My dream back yard is not too big, but has a fruit tree, a place for chairs and a fort, a hammock, and romantic, wild-ish beds of medicinal herbs (and LOTS of lavender) and pretty flowers. We would spend time together in the garden, weeding and planting and watering, reading books, playing, until we adjourn to the sitting room to play the piano and watch the birds do the house cleaning..... In my dream anyway. In reality, I would probably be screaming at Violet to stop ripping my plants apart, while Clover cries because she pulled all the flowers off of something and they didn't grow back immediately.
Clover is doing her model pose. More on that dress at a later time......It's a not so top secret pattern testing project that I am totally in love with.
So I'm feeling exited and hopeful about this new chapter slowly unfolding for us. But I sometimes feel like I'm walking through parenting and homemaking in the dark with a dim candle, unable to see anything but what is directly around me. My vision and mind need to open up and stretch out. I need to calm down, enjoy, rest, work, pray, be present, and find ways to be contentedly productive and intellectually active with two very small and crazy people here with me.
I don't know if this helps but I think you're a fantastic mum and homemaker :-) and the girls always look so happy. I love reading and always have - that's what gives me stillness and concentration for hours and hours. It would be nice to have a fenced back garden... But soon they'll be a bit older and ok to run around while you watch from the balcony. You're doing a great job :-)
ReplyDeleteI applaud anyone who is homeschooling. I was thinking about it today, actually, and there is no way I could do a good job at it. Maybe if I only had one child! Love the birdie pj's!
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